A Dear Friend

Today I attended the funeral services for a dear friend and co-worker. Frank Standage. Even though he was my boss, our friendship went beyond that. The many hours that we spent together making deliveries all over the state and in California was time well spent. We had fun talks, joked around alot, had serious talks, and talked about both our futures. I am saddened that Franks future was cut short. But I know he is in a better place. He is doing the work that he knows he has to do. I will miss those funny phones call like at 3:00 in the morning while he is out and about asking me what I am doing? I responded, sleeping of course! All of his funny one liners, will always stick with me and with Trent. We both loved him very much for what he has done for us and the family. We are very grateful for him. Frank- "we will be happy every minute." See you soon.

Happy, Happy, Happy

I got some very good news today! From my last post I was accused of being a thief. Well today, the lady called back and said that she found her jewelry and was very sorry for all of the accusations. This will clean up my record at the corporate office and give me a small leg up with work. Woot! Woot! I am sure glad to put this behind me! Everyone have a great day and to SMILE!!

Work

This last week of work has put me into the lowest point I have ever felt in my life. Found out yesterday that I am being accused of stealing some expensive jewelry from a home patient that I delivered to on Friday. Got a ticket for the new "move over law" in the company truck. Made a special delivery to assemble some medical equipment and mounted two things on the wall because I was told to "please the customer". But this was wrong. Should have not mounted anything to the wall. I was told that I have dyslexia real bad and that I need to figure out how to overcome it and to make things better. And all of this while trying to live on a reduced income because things are slow. With all of this I just cant shake this off. The stealing thing has really gotten under my skin. My career is really hanging in the balance right now. I am just totally sick about all that has happened. Don't know if I can snap out of it. Bye for now, totally depressed.

New Stuff

Since the last post, I have been able to sleep at nights. Thank goodness! I think what caused part of the sleeplessness was the fact that I was being prepared to receive a new calling in my church. I did receive that new calling and it was to the High Priest group in the ward. Along with that I was called to be the Second Assistant to the President. WOW! I am now in a group of men that have more knowledge and wisdom about the gospel that I know what to do with. Especially when it comes to giving lessons. I know nothing compared to them.

But this calling came with a big surprise. When I received the call, the President stood up in front of the group and explained why the change took place for the First Assistant but he could not explain why my name came to him for the Second Assistant position. He said that he went through all of the brethren names, not once, not twice, but many times and my name kept coming to him. The President said that he did not know who I was or what special talents I possessed to have such a strong influence on him but it did. He said that the calling did not come from himself but from the Lord.

This inspired me to try harder in my church responsibilities. To this day, I believe that the calling did come from Heavenly Father. I have felt a purpose and a need that has filled a void in my life that has been in existence for some time. I feel I have been truly blessed by the new calling.

As for the rest of the family, Trent has been working with me off and on doing deliveries. Laurie finished the school year and has started taking classes on-line from BYU. She is hoping to finish her education and complete her degree. Kelsi graduated from high school and from seminary and has got a job working at Golfland as a cashier. She has also applied at Pima Medical institute and has started her Pharmacy Technician degree. So proud of her! Jolie played softball during the spring season and poor thing lost all of her games except one. The one game that her team won, she was the winning run to win it! It was a rush to home plate and she beat the throw home! Jolie has had fun this summer hanging out with friends. She also says that she is ready for school to start.

Work continues for me but it still is uncertain at times if or when I will get a call to make a delivery. It is getting slightly better. The exception for work is the truck that I was using. The engine overheated and it cracked the heads on the engine. So now it sits in the side yard as a huge lawn ornament at the cost of $500.00 a month. Ouch!!!!! Thinking I will have to get a second job to pay for the new engine.

As school starts real soon, I am hoping that I can find the time to have a little fun. All work and no play makes Richard a dull boy! ha ha! Until next time, you all be safe out there!

Sleepless in Mesa

I don't get where this is coming from but why can't I sleep at nights. This is a big question. I used to never EVER have a problem sleeping but now my sleep schedule is just goofied up. Could it be the stress of life? Money? Relationships? I think I need a shrink! I do have to admit that I just spent 15 hours on the road and not ready to sleep yet but just cant get sleepy. I know what I need! A big turkey sandwich and a glass of milk! I need to update everyone on what has been gong on but I will try later when I have had some time to sort thoughts. Good night and sleep tight!

Where has the time gone

Well since my last post, things have been flying by. My two daughters had birthdays, and I had a birthday. Finally got all of my CDL stuff finished and now I have been busy busy with work and that is great! Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas have all come and gone. The time is just flying by! As the new year has begun, I am hoping that this is the year that we finally get ourselves out of the hole. After being laid off, things were tough! Anyway it all seems to be coming together!

I of course have not had to go through this alone. I have a great family and wonderful kids! They are always surprising me with things that keep me on my toes. With all of the gloom of the economy and people losing jobs homes and cars, I have been blessed with family and friends to help cushion the bumpy ride. I have found myself wanting and wishing that I had all of the finer things in life but all that did was depress me because it seemes so out of reach. I have learned that being happy with what I have is the best solution for now. The cars may be rickety but they are paid for and they work.

My sister's husband had two severe heart attacks this last month and now he is in Hospipce care. He sleeps all the time and does not acknowledge anyone in the room. I feel so sad for my sister because she is losing the one that she loves and has to become a single parent to four kids. She is the one that I am praying for because she will not have it easy. My Mother is another one that I am praying for also. Mom had a mini stroke last year and it has affected her vision so she is not allowed to drive or be able to work. She can see ok enough to get around the house so this makes her feel independent. Mom says she is in good spirits but wishes that all of her kids are doing well.

Learned last night that Dad had to be wisked away in a ambulance to a hospital somewhere we dont know. This was on Weds. night last week. We havent heard why he had to go or if he is even ok. The jail system doesnt let us know of these things. Hope he is ok.

There was another thing that has hit me hard this last year was that I cant please everyone. Even people I dont know seem to have a comment on how I do things. It hit me too the point that I feel like I cant open myself up too much for people for the fear of being judged. I guess I will eventually get over this one too, but for now it weighs on me.

But hey, it is a new year and I hope and wish that all goes well for friends and families. May the new year bring you joy and happiness!! SeeYa!!

Happy Birthday Trent!

I am a little late in writing this but I do want to wish "my boy" a happy birthday. Trent has turned the big 21 and now is an adult. I cant believe that I have a kid that old. I still remember when he was just a baby. How time flies. LOL. I am glad that Trent is part of our family and that he strives real hard to make everyone happy. He has set as a goal to take 14 hours in college this semester and I think he can do this. He is a smart man and has alot of goals.

We have had fun teasing him and he just takes it and gives it right back. His greatest love right now is his ex-box. I do hope that girls will come into the picture but I wont rush that right now. Anyway, Trent Happy Birthday we I love you bunches!!

Special Blessings

This whole summer has been quite the challenge. Trent lost his unemployment benefits in May and Laurie is off from school for the summer which made making ends meet alot more difficult. Then you throw in a few car problems and a trip to Utah and now it feels like I can never pull out of it. It feels like a nose dive straight to the ground. Well I almost crashed and burned this week. I have tried so hard to keep it together all summer and then it caught up with me. This last week I looked at my bank account and we were already broke and out of money. Payday was still five days away. I do have some money put away in a IRA account but I need to keep that in case of a true emergency. Anyway I thought I was done for. An idea was that I could get a pay advance from my boss to help carry me through. My boss is a good man and I have come to appreciate him very much. He has given me a chance for work when he didn't have to. He has been one of those special blessings.

The other blessing came this way. As I said I was going to ask him for an advance. I went to his home and gave him my paperwork and was just getting ready to ask when he said, "guess what my a/c went out in my house." I thought that was bad because I know how expensive it is to repair them. Then my boss said that both of his a/c units froze up. Oh my gosh! How can this be happening! When things go down hill, they go down hill!! After hearing that I felt so bad for him that I thought I cant ask him for an advance, he needs the money to pay for the a/c repairs.

Driving home I was almost in tears. I felt absolutely whipped! I was thinking what am I going to do now. I thought for a minute and said a little prayer and ask the Lord for a little help. We only needed like $250.00 dollars to make to Thursday. I got home and went to the mailbox and found my second special blessing. Inside was a check from Trent's unemployment benefits for $256.00! WOW! What a relief! With that check I can make to Thursday and then payday. Soon Laurie will be going back to work and along with Trent's work money I think we can get back on our feet. I know that this is a start but it brings hope. I need that hope so much right now so that I can make to the next day and the next. I know that there is some big struggles ahead of me and with the Lords help I can work through them. I do know that the Lord is there helping me and supporting me the best that He can. Otherwise I would have lost it long ago.

For those of you reading, don't give up hope. It does come along when you least expect it. Until next time, keep smiling!

Happy Fathers Day!

I want to wish all Fathers out there a great and Happy Fathers Day!

As I sit and ponder about this Fathers Day, it makes me wonder how well of a father I have been. As my kids get older I wonder if I have done enough to teach them for when they become adults. It is so much harder these days for kids growing up. The competition for better grades, getting into college, finding jobs, is so much harder, did I do enough. Did I show them through example that if something was to go wrong, would they have enough faith to call upon the Lord for help and guidance, or would they just give up because it was the easier thing to do. As I have become older, my own father was not there to help and teach me on ways to do better. I have had to learn this on my own. I have had some great people in my life that have given me guidance and have shown me the way to becoming a good father. These people I have appreciated very much. It is so hard to go through this life by yourself. That is why I have such a huge doubt that I wonder if I have done enough.

As time goes on and the kids begin to live there own lives, this will tell whether or not I have done my job as a father was complete. I hope I have done enough. I am glad to be a Father and a dad. It has brought me much happiness. The love that I feel from being a dad is like the biggest, warmest feeling ever! It just makes me sad to see that as they get older, I will not be able to feel such feelings as often. I hope that all dads can experience that warm feeling of being a dad. Bye for now!

Why?

I really thought that someone cared for me. But as it turns out, they broke my heart. Now where do I go from here? Running out of options.

When it rains , it pours.

The amount of rain that has fallen today is incredible. I love the rain and how everything smells so fresh. All of it will start a new day of adventure. As we continue to unpack boxes from moving,( and unpacking and unpacking), things are starting to look up at the new house. We have been able to find places for most of everything and the stuff that we cant hide or put away, goes to a pile for D.I. The new house has been a blessing. It has been saving us money so far and at this point with the economy, we have been blessed.

The other things that seem to break the moments are automobiles. I have one that cant pass emisions. The first mechanic told me we need a new engine. The second mechanic (which is a reputable dealer) told me that they cant fix it because they dont have the tools to do it. Imagine that! A dealership not having the right tools. That is wrong! Anyway, mechanic number three told us that I have bad injectors and that it is going to cost at least $1000 dollars. Holy crap! As it turns out, I get to do the work myself and I am hoping that I can fix the car. My other car is doing ok but I hope it can continue to run and not give me any troubles.

I have been working now for a couple of weeks now for a great boss. He owns Standage Courier Service and has taken me under his wing. He has trained me for the current positition and I am hoping to do well for him. I appreciate what he has done for me by hiring me. The position is one that delivers medical supplies to hospitals and patients that are shut in. In a way I feel like it is a job in service. I am bringing supplies to those who depend on them and who need them to survive. I have found some satisfaction with this job knowing that I am helping people.

I do want to say Happy Anniversary to Laurie. It has been 23 years now and I still havent been kicked out yet. J/K. I hope she has had a Happy Day!

Well gotta go, hope everyone has a great day and hope that you all remember to take a second to smile and make someones day!

Wow!

I know that I have not written anything for a awhile but alot of things have happened. The economy continues to put a strangle hold on the construction industry and so I am still trying to get that permanent position. The job at the warehouse is not as permanent as I thought and so I am lucky to get called in maybe twice a week. I do appreciate the work but it makes life so uncertain. Christmas was good to us this year and we as a family did enjoy it together. My birthday rolled around and it was a ok. Many well wishers but the person that didn't wish me a happy birthday was my wife. Don't know how to take that but I am not worrying about it too much. My BEST friends however did throw me a surprise party and it was a blast. I really appreciated it!! With the new year here now, we have to start looking for a new place to live and this is proving to be a big challenge. Finding a place that is in our new budget is hard. Nothing seems to fit within Lauries expectations or is too small. The ones that she likes is out of our price range. I am sure we will find something if it doesn't cramp everyones style.

I am hoping for a great new year and am hoping that sooner than later things can fall back into place. With the way things are now, life is not much fun. But I haven't given up hope. Until next time, keep your feet on the ground and keep reaching for the stars!

J.O.B.

The title is an acronym for the things that I am writing about. The first is "B". The B stands for Birthday and I hope that Kelsi had a wonderful birthday! She turned 17 and is growing up to be a beautiful young woman. She is making lots of friends and seems to be always doing things. I am very proud of her and what she stands for. I appreciate her very much and want her to know that I love her dearly. Happy Birthday sweetie!

The "J" stands for job. Here about 2 weeks ago I was asked to help a friend of my brother in law at his warehouse. I worked there for a couple of days and was asked to come back again the following week. As it turns out, they like what I am doing and wants me to continue to come back and work for him. So I guess that I am now employed again. YIPPEE!!! The name of the business is Hot Shot Delivery and there web address is www.hotshotaz.com. They have been great to work for and I have been really enjoying it. It has been hard work but that is ok. The toughest part of the job is that I have to ride the bus or light rail every morning and evening. It takes 2 hours for the bus and light rail to get where I need to go or I take another bus which is an hour and a half ride home. Either way it keeps me working.

The reason for the bus trip to work brings the letter "O". This means all of the other stuff that is going on. We lost the engine in Trent's truck and so we were down to one car. This didn't work with the three of us needing to be places. So in a hurried decision, we bought another car. It is a 1992 Cadillac DeVille. Found a guy who works at a dealership and he gave us a great deal. Only 2000 bucks. And the car looks and runs great! Buying the model from the dealer would have cost 3750 so we feel good about what we bought. This still doesn't help me just yet in getting to work but I just have to be patient. Laurie and the kids are still working or going to school and they are staying busy that way. I am still busy with Scouts planning activities and such. I attend about three meetings a week with scouts so it is keeping me busy. As far as other things and stuff, I just take them one at a time and deal with it the best that I can. This last month has not been easy and it doesn't appear to get any easier in the coming weeks. With the Lords help maybe I can make it through. Until next time take care and be safe!

I am over 50!

This is not to be confused with my age! lol! I just lost count of how many times I have posted. What a milestone!. Anyway, I was reading a friends blog the other day about men who lie. I pondered on this topic for some time and have come to this conclusion. This friend was right! Men do lie! Let me explain. A couple of weeks ago I was helping a good friend with an auto problem and it took most of the day. I had replaced a broken hose with a new one but the car did not run right. Come to find out, the new hose was faulty! Imagine that! It took some time to locate a new hose from another dealership and got the hose installed and the car runs great! When I returned home I was accused of goofing off because it took to long to fix the car. When I explained how the first new hose was bad and we had to get another new hose, I was confronted with "I dont believe you"! Yep, I was caught in a lie. The truth of it is that I was telling the whole truth! Didn't lie a bit. But not being allowed to explain further, the day went on and alot of emtional feelings were hurt. I am not a person who would lie.

As I got home from work today, I was visiting about a phone call that Laurie recieved and was told that the reason why I cant get a job right now is that I shouldn't tell the truth about how much my last salary was. That I should fib just a little. Nothing good comes from telling lies! I get into trouble telling the truth, heavens forbid I tell I lie! What trouble would that be?!!

Now that I have spoken my peace, it is time to keep going. I have been working in Phoenix for a few days and don't know if it will be full time or not but it is helping out. I still applying for jobs but they are still in short supply.

Until next time C'YA!!!!!:)

Nice guys!

This entry is not very long but I hope it makes a point. Nice guys dont finish first or in the middle or even last. Thay dont get to finish at all!

Some Good Things

I have realized that my last couple of entries have been rather depressing and I think it is time to post some positive reinforcement for myself. With the house selling, the loan that was tied to the equity of the property, (which there was no equity), came to be an issue. As it turned out, a portion of the loan was paid off and the remaining balance was written off by the lending institution. This freed up some 200 bucks that we don't have to pay back each month. YYYYYeeeeeee YYYYaaaawwww!!!!! Another good thing that I feel is a good thing is that I have become a great house husband!! Yes the dishes, laundry, cooking, and all of the other stuff that goes with it is my responsibility. I feel I have made some excellent dishes for dinner and I didn't cheat with boxed mac n cheese or that kind of stuff. Everything cooked from mostly scratch. We haven't lost any clothes and the kids have clean clothes when they need them. Murphy hasn't chewed up any underwear because it isn't laying around. I could go on but it is a great feeling that I can pick up the slack and help wherever it is needed.

With school underway, i also get the kids up and get them off to school. This helps Laurie out so that she can mentally prepare for her day. Her job is really hard on her and she really really wants to quite. So to make things easier for her, I do all the house stuff.

Trent is doing good in school and Kelsi and Jolie appear to be doing well also. It is hard to believe that they are growing up and in two years Jolie will be the last one in school.

On the job front, there still isn't any word from Hunt or from anybody. I still am working on finding something and I hope that with the holiday season starting I will be able to find something. I am going to keep up a good attitude for this week and not let anything get me down. With the way things are going I need to do this. It seems that there is less grief if I can keep everyone happy.

I hope that everyone has a great day and has at least a chance to smell the flowers. Bye for now!

The Ole' House

Last week on Thursday we get a call inviting us to come down to the office and sign papers on the house. So Friday we drive down and in 10 minutes we sign the papers to sell the old house. It was a bittersweet moment. Yes we were sad to have lost the home but also glad that through the hard work of your real estate agent Greg Askins, sold the home before it went to foreclosure. The family that has bought it is very nice and they so deserve it! I got to meet them the other day as I went over to look at the pool equipment and get running again. Now I don't have that issue to worry about. Even though we are home-less, at least we are not homeless.

Even though the sell of the house was good, this whole week has been a struggle for me. I consider myself to have pretty good faith in all things but it has not been there this past week. My faith in church, family, and even in marriage has been severely rocked. I haven't felt this low since I had the problems with my dad. Nothing seems fair or right. I am sure that not being able to find a job has had a hand in bringing me down to this level. It is not fair for someone to say that I am over qualified and not hire me. Hire me and then we will decide if I am too over qualified. I just need something. But on the home front, even when I am doing stuff at home it just doesn't seem to be enough. And so when it comes time for me to have help with things it is like I cant get any help. It is all one sided. No watching or covering for one another, arguing to prove nothing, and not wanting to do more than what is required or doing ones own share. I cant even go to the movies with out someone saying that is not a good idea. Do I feel trapped? You bet I do! And the sad thing is there is nothing that I can do about it. All I can do is put my feelings in the backseat or on the shelf and just let things happen. It doesn't do any good any more to try and talk it out. I will try and have a more positive outlook on life and be on my best behavior, but also expect that I shouldn't have to do it alone. Here is to a new week!

New ward, home sale and stuff

Alot has happened since Fathers Day and some of it has been great, some has been ok and the other stuff, well, it just sucks. We did go through a ward split and so now we have a new bishop and with that I have been released from being the second councilor in the young mens presidency. I havent been called to anything yet but I am sure something is coming my way. I do hope it is a calling in the Primary. I just love kids and the perfectness that they have and share. If I could bottle that up and store it, breath it, drink it, snort it, jk, use it to when I am feeling down, I would have fewer down moments in my life. Thank goodness for kids!!

We have recieved word that the offer on the house has been accepted by the bank and it looks like it is finally going to sell. The poor home has been vandalized so much that I really feel sorry for the new homeowners. They have got some work to do but I hope it is a home that will provide safety and love and comfort for them.

I still have not been able to find work in this ugly economy. There have been a couple of interviews and the parting words have been like " we would like to hire you but you are over-qualified." Another is "you made to much we can't compete." I have made some calls to California where the work is still moving along but they dont have anything just yet. If things go well, maybe by the first of Sept. I will have a position. Commuting is not the way I would like to go but if it is a job I will do it.

We are still working with Trent on his mission. We met with the Stake President today and he told us that Trent is not going on a full time mission. However he can serve a part-time service mission here in the area. I am totally liking this because he can still go to school and serve a misson and feel that he accomplished both. There has been some very serious arguements about a mission and what people feel is the best thing for Trent. The bottom line is that Trent should be the one who decides on what he wants to do. Nobody else should tell him how to live, what to do, or how to do it. Speaking of that boy he turned twenty on Friday so Happy Birthday Trent!. Trent is a very good boy and we as a family will be blessed no matter on what he decides to do with his life. As his dad I am very proud of him and the recognition that he recieves from people that say he is the most kindest young man they have ever met. I am very proud of my kids and what they represent. By no means are we perfect but we try and we try hard to please all those that are around us but some times it just doesnt seem it is enough. My kids will do great things in there lives.

Kelsi and Jolie are now getting ready for school and sad to see the summer go. It has been a fun summer for me even though I didnt work. I have been able to do alot of fun things which normally I would not have been able to do. I did have a part time job in Heber for awhile which I appreciated so much! It helped the funds stretch a little further.

So everyone take care as the summer break winds down and life resumes back to the school schedule. I have enjoyed each and everyone of you as friends in my life this summer. You mean so much to me. Thank You! Take care and c'ya!!

Happy Fathers Day!

Today was filled with tons of emotions and heartache. I know that Fathers Day is suppose to be happy and all but this the second year that I have felt unappreciated on this day. I dont want to bring anyone down with this post but I have to get off my chest before going to bed. Today was just like any other day. The only difference was that I got a candy bar from church and finally at 6:00 this evening I was given two cards and a gift for fathers day. Dont get me wrong, I truely appreciate what I got but it took all day to get to that point. So it was like the day was almost over and people were just remembering about the day.

For the last 9 years I have allways have struggled with this day. Not having a father figure to lift me up or to cheer me on through life toils has taken a toll. I feel that I am going at this all alone and the times that I need a shoulder to lean on, it is not there. What also hurts about today was that My Mom did not even call today to wish me a happy fahers day. So you can all guess how this makes me feel.

Of course since I have not been able to find a job yet, the bank still giving us problems on the old house, the money is starting to run out, and DES still not wanting to help because some sort of paperwork is not turned in, this just piles it up deeper to the point where I am swimming in it with no life preserver to be seen.

So I do want my readers to know that if they are Dads, hope you had the best Fathers Day ever! Cherish it. There is no feeling like the emptiness that I felt this day. As for the rest of the readers, thanks for hanging in there with me and giving me the support and friendship. I know there is hope at the bottom of the hole but I got to find the one hand to hold on to that will help me out of it. Enjoy the summer and life! Bye-Bye

Latest and Greatest

It has been awhile since I have last posted so I thought I better bring everyone up to speed. On the job front, nothing yet as far as a permanent position. I have been able to do some work over the weekend in Heber for a good friend of ours for which I am truely grateful for. It was nice to get out of dodge per say and into the mountains to cool off. The wind did blow pretty fierce and by the end of the day, my contacts felt like sandpaper but the work was well worth it. I think the family had fun too.

Tommorrow I send Kelsi off to the big world of EFY in Provo for a whole week. She just got back from girls camp and now she is off again. I am hoping she learns alot from this trip and has alot of fun and makes new friends. I also hope that the experience will open her eyes a little and allow her to see her full potential. I do love her and will miss her but sometimes she can be a pain!

Got news tonight that the new homebuyers will be closing on Monday or Tuesday this week on the old house. YYEEAAAA!!! I have worried alot about being foreclosed on and my credit being ruined even further. Oh wait, you cant ruin what you dont have. I am so afraid to look at my credit score that deep depression might set in. No, not really but but sad that the fact that after working so hard for something and then having to give it up hurts alot. I wish the new home owners the best in the world and hope they have as much fun in the home as we did.

Trent is getting ever so close with his mission papers. Just a few minor details and then we can send them in. He is excited about going and there is alot of people cheering him on. While he is waiting for his call to come in, he continues like me, looking for a job. It is really hard out there in finding work. I wish the Obama money would open things up a little faster.

Laurie is glad that school is out for the summer and is glad to be taking a break. She doesnt know yet where she will be going next year for work but she hopes it isnt back to the class she just came from.

Jolie is enjoying the summer with her friends at boredom busters, movies, swimming and Kinetic Energy. Her tumbling skills are getting better, but she does need to practice some more.

Along with a new post, I decided to change my background. It may seem childish to have a bunch of toy looking stuff in the background, but I feel that this is what I needed to remember happier times. Oh and by the way, I dont know if I mentioned it yet but I am still looking for a job. Just kidding! I know I have mentioned three times now. lol. Hope everyone has a good week and I will keep you updated on progress.
C,ya!!